Thinking about the two, I realise that both are very different in nature. Randy's speech is about the past, what he has learnt from his life lessons. Adrian's is about the future, what one should do with one's life. And the lessons they teach also differ. Adrian say to be careful of the truth and there are times when it can be dangerous. Randy says to tell the truth, and people will help you. I think we will all interpret them in our own ways.
Anyhow, I condensed some of Randy's point as follows, should I ever want to look back at today and reflect about life, much easier than listening through his 1 hr plus lecture. Lessons are as follows:
- When nobody tells you what you are doing wrong means they have given up on you.
- Brick walls are there to show us how badly we want things.
- Wait long enough and people will impress you.
- To get people to help you, (i) tell the truth; (ii) be earnest; (iii) apologise when you screw up; and (iv) focus on others, not yourself.
- Get a feedback loop and listen to it.
- Be good at something, it makes you valuable.
- Work hard.
- Be prepared, luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
I think the above points are all valid, in some way or another. I know I have not achieved or practised even half of the above list. But this is not the forum for me to list out all my flaws... :)
As for Mr Adrian Tan's speech, it can be summarised into 4 themes, (1) Don't work, (2) Avoid telling the truth; (3) Be hated; and (4) Love someone.
His I think is easier to dissect. Don't work means to find something you like and do it. Then it no longer is work, and you will get good at it (link to lesson 6 above). He even goes on to say that at this point of life, one should know what one wants in life. On this point I so disagree, I can honestly say that I do not know what I want. There are the material comforts which will make me happy, but I cannot say that it is what I want from life. Eesin was discussing with me earlier and he brought up the point that the pursuit of want for a certain lifestyle is often muddled with the process of obtaining that lifestyle. My point was even more fundamental to say that, is the want for a certain lifestyle even what one wants, or what one believes one wants. Guess Maslow's heirarchy of needs comes in here, with self-actualisation being the highest need of all. I think one must be truly lucky to do what he likes, so much so as to make a career out of it. I do however admit that mindset can play a part. The issue now is whether I want to make that effort. Decided to edit my post a bit here, seeing that TK wasn't able to understand my point. Basically it goes like this, if someone thinks he need 12k monthly to be happy and he slogs like mad to get the 12k. Is he happy because of the 12k or because of the work he's doing. Eesin's point was that one may confuse the means (slogging like mad) with the end (12k a month). Ultimately if he's happy slogging like mad then all well and good. And if he's unhappy, what then?
Avoid telling the truth is much easier. I for one believe in it, the truth can hurt and that's the way to avoid stepping on people's toes. Here is where Adrian departs from Randy. Randy says to tell the truth and people will help you and trust you. At the end of the day, if people believe you told the truth to help them, then yes, Randy is right. Unfortunately, I'm a cynic. I am not saying be a hypocrite, just fudge the truth or hide it a little. My colleague did say I'm a little too PC when I talk.
Be hated is something I cannot relate to. To quote him, "It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average." I for now am happy to fit into this role, and if it means I'm average, so be it. I wonder if it's because I have no convictions, reminds me of my psychologist interview back then when I was effectively told I have no morals. I haven't changed a bit it seems.
Lastly, Love Someone. This one ah, slowly wait lah... :)
Since I'm already online, might as well talk about the last 2 weeks. In order of happening, watched Dark Knight with colleagues (fave quote: an unstoppable force against an immovable object), watched Red Cliff with IC people (so reminded me of Troy, can't wait for part II), played early Sunday morning tennis with IC people, celebrated Conrad's belated birthday (with people announcing future plans) at Vivo, played tennis with Qiqi, had after work drinks at Brewerkz, had an extremely long and slow MJ game with Jean, YQ and her sis on Friday night, and met Qiqi and Lindi for dinner just last Saturday.
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